54. Just a Friend by Biz Markie

"Just a Friend" by Biz Markie

Written by Marcell Hall
Produced by Marcell Hall
Released on The Biz Never Sleeps (October 10, 1989)
Released as a single September 26, 1989
Peaked at #9 on Billboard Hot 100
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It's been more than a month since I've written anything for this blog; this project I started more than a year ago; this project that I am not even halfway through. Discipline has never been a strength of mine. I have routines, but they are the kinds of routines that are probably better categorized as ruts. The last few months have been great for ruts and bad for routines.

So now that I have a little break from my normal work routine, I'm going to try to take advantage and not fall as deep into my typically dangerous ruts and routines. I am never sure how successful these types of plans will be, but I have to try something. So let's talk about my 54th favorite song of all time.

"Just a Friend" by Biz Markie is the closest thing to a funny song on my list. That's not to say that I don't enjoy fun songs and funny songs, but I rarely want to place them into categories like best or greatest or favorite. "Just a Friend" is the exception. It will always stick with me and feel special, mostly because of my older brother, Jack.

The only constants for me during the first 16 years of my life were the four of us: mom, dad, Jack, and me. We moved around a lot, so while I made new friends wherever we went, I learned early on that those friendships would probably fade or disappear after our next move. I had best friends over the years, and while I didn't always like my brother, he was always there. Often, even after we would fight about something or annoy each other, he would still feel like my best friend because he was a constant. He was there, and even though there would be another fight over the remote control or another burp he'd blow across the table at me or an argument over whose turn it was to use the computer or me running to my parents to tell on my brother, the good outweighed the bad. I looked up to him, and I think he wanted the best for me. 

Jack was two years older than me, so I always just assumed that he was cool. All older kids seem cool. In retrospect, he probably wasn't that cool, but he was certainly cooler than me. I learned a lot from him. Because I thought he was cool, I often took cues from him about what kinds of music I should listen to. I didn't like everything he did (and he hated some of the stuff I liked), but there was always significant overlap. He introduced me to some music that I still enjoy like Metallica, Jethro Tull, and Alice Cooper. He also introduced me to some music that I never really figured out, like GWAR, but nobody is perfect.

I don't remember when I first heard "Just a Friend" by Biz Markie. I watched too much MTV to have somehow missed it when it came out, but for a long time I didn't remember it. What I did remember was my brother singing the chorus. For some reason, that was it. I don't remember seeing the video or hearing it on the radio, I remember my brother singing it. I also remember not being sure what it was, but wanting to be like my brother, I sang it too. For years I would hum or sing that little tune from the chorus, not really remembering what the rest of the song was. When I did find it again later, it was already so familiar because of Jack. I know I must have heard the actual song before I heard it from my brother, but part of me will always remember it as that song Jack used to sing.

Another thing I remember like this was that Jack would randomly say, "It's all ball bearings nowadays!" That was another thing I didn't really know, but I would say it too because my brother said it, and because it sounded odd and funny. I finally watched Fletch a few years ago, not realizing that's where the line came from. Needless to say, when Chevy Chase said the line, this is how I felt:

I always wanted to seem cool, so I wanted to feel like I was in the loop with my brother. I wanted him to think I was cool too. So I went along and said the line from Fletch and sang the chorus to this song. They are small things, and maybe strange memories to have, but they are a part of who I am because of my brother, and I will always love him for that.

Right now "Just a Friend" by Biz Markie is (probably) my 54th favorite song of all time.

55. Gone (feat. Consequence and Cam'ron) by Kanye West

"Gone" (feat. Consequence and Cam'ron) by Kanye West

Written by Kanye West, Dexter Mills, Cameron Giles, Chuck Willis
Produced by Kanye West
Released on Late Registration (August 30, 2005)
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Warning: Explicit Lyrics

Kanye West is a genius. That is clear. It should also be clear that just because someone is a genius does not mean that they are also likable. Many words have been written and spoken about Kanye West, and many of them have not been kind. He's clearly not a perfect person, but he also has made some of the best music of the past 20 years. Many people have thrown around words like crazy or unstable in reference to Mr. West. In recent years, I have become less comfortable using those words, especially as his wife has become more open and clear about her husband's personal struggles with his mental health. 

Kanye West broke new ground producing tracks for Jay-Z and for his own debut album. His practice of using sped up soul samples as the basis for his tracks sounded so cool. Around the time when he released his first two albums, I was hovering on the outskirts of St. Louis' underground hip hop scene. Through some of those connections I learned a few things about sampling beats and making digital tracks. I never took the time to really do much more than fiddle around and try a few things, but I did learn that it's not easy. While I don't always think that Kanye is that great of a rapper (despite what he says about himself), it is clear to anyone who listens that he is a master producer. He creates innovative, fun, and dynamic backing tracks, on top of which he adds his fun and interesting rhymes.

So with some of that background, I was blown away the first time I played "Gone" after buying the Late Registration album. One of Kanye's gifts is his ability to find and use samples from songs that others have overlooked. At this time I owned the Otis Redding box set Otis!, and had listened to it extensively. Despite that, I had never heard the Otis Redding song "It's Too Late" that Kanye had sampled for "Gone." One reason is that it's actually not that great of a song. It's a subpar cover of a mediocre song. (Even the great ones make mistakes.) Kanye managed to take a small sample from it and create greatness from mediocrity.

What makes this song more amazing is how the track develops. Many rap songs take a sample, add a beat, and repeat. They'll usually change the beat a bit for the hook, but sometimes not. "Gone" is different. The beat changes throughout the song. Once Kanye comes back to rap his final verse, his voice full of spit and venom, that Otis Redding sample has completely disappeared. It is still very much the same song, but it's evolved. This wasn't something radical from a musical sense, but it was certainly something I had not heard in a rap song before.

Kanye was so far beyond the simple tracks I had seen and heard to a whole new level of prowess and genius. This track is the culmination of all the work he had put in before he became a meme or a caricature of himself. On his first album he claimed that he made "five beats a day for three summers." All that work paid off in this masterpiece from his second album.

It could be argued that he had already created at least one masterpiece with "Jesus Walks." (Kanye certainly feels that way.) That was never a personal favorite of mine, but I certainly understood why Kanye and others thought it was great. So I may have been a little late to the party in recognizing Mr. West's genius because it wasn't until I heard this song that I really got it.

Around the time of its release, Kanye West said in an interview that he felt like Late Registration was the best produced album of all time. Kanye has gotten himself into trouble for making comments like this. It sounds like he's bragging; it's just more evidence to say that his ego is out of control. For me, after hearing "Gone," it didn't feel like bragging, it was inarguable fact.

Right now "Gone" (feat. Consequence and Cam'ron) by Kanye West is (probably) my 55th favorite song of all time.

56. The General by Dispatch

"The General" by Dispatch

Lyrics by Chad Urmston
Music by Dispatch (Brad Corrigan, Pete Francis Heimbold, Chad Urmston)
Released on Bang Bang (September 1, 1997)
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This is one of those bands that I can say I knew about before they were cool. (Not that I would say that because that would make me sound pretentious and uncool). One summer during college, my friend Don came to camp with a CD by a band who he had seen up at Middlebury. It was a fine CD for summer camp, no curse words, acoustic arrangements, and a general vibe that no one could really complain about. "Bats in the Belfry" got stuck in my head a bit, but I've had worse songs stuck there.

When I asked about the band, he explained that even though they were called One Fell Swoop on his CD, they had changed their name to Dispatch after they signed to a record deal. For some reason after that summer, the only thing that stuck in my head was One Fell Swoop. For the longest time I could not remember their new name.

I saw the band Guster on a late night show, and although they had a similar set up, I knew it wasn't the same band. I checked just in case, but the internet was not nearly as useful at that time, so I wasn't 100% sure that they hadn't changed their name again.

I had another run in with Dispatch's music after college when I worked at a camp up in Michigan. We used to go to Whisker's Pub to hear Andre Villoch (who has a song further up this list) play. He was a once and future camp counselor, and he played a mean guitar, wrote great songs, and could sing (among many other talents). One of the cover songs in his repertoire was "Out Loud" by Dispatch. Apparently one of his musician friends used to shout "Andre!" when he would get to the chorus. I asked him once if he had ever tried to learn "The General." He admitted that he could never quite get the quick rhythms of the verses down. It's possible he didn't want to play it because its antiwar lyrics might be perceived as a political statement.

This is one of my favorite antiwar songs and not the last antiwar song in my top 100. For most of my life I have been more dove than hawk. While it could be argued that certain wars in the past were justified, it's also clear that too many humans have been killed by other humans. Great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. have demonstrated that non-violent protest can be an effective way to usher in revolution and change.

When I was younger, I used to think that the scariest thing about going to war would be the thought of killing another human. I now have come to terms with how naive I once was. While I have never been sure about whether I could actually take another person's life, even in self-defense, I am very sure that I do not want to lose my own. I now believe that, even when I was younger, if I were to ever be thrust into a warlike situation, I would almost certainly end up crying, hiding in a corner with soiled underwear. Maybe an esprit de corps (or a shot of adrenaline from a simple a fear of letting down those around me) would save me from that embarrassment, but I really can't know for sure. I'm just grateful that all this has remained hypothetical for me.

What I am certain of is that we still have over 8,000 US troops in Afghanistan, fighting a war that has lasted for nearly 20 years; a war that has killed over 2,000 American servicemen, wounded many others, and left still more with lasting physical and psychological scars; a war that has killed over 110,000 Afghans; a war that has cost the United States at least $1.5 trillion; a war that needs to end.

My hope is that all men and women fighting anywhere in the world can someday soon follow the final orders of the general to:

Take a shower. Shine your shoes.

You got no time to lose.

You are young men. You must be living.

Go now you are forgiven.

Right now "The General" by Dispatch is my 56th favorite song of all time.

57. Murder in the City by the Avett Brothers

"Murder in the City" by The Avett Brothers

Written by Scott Avett and Seth Avett
Produced by The Avett Brothers and Doug Williams
Released on The Second Gleam (July 22, 2008)
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This is a perfect song. It's simple and sweet and amazing. I knew nothing about the Avett Brothers when I found it, and I don't know much more now. I discovered this song shortly after it was released, inside the pages of either GQ or Esquire magazine: One of their pop culture blurbs mentioned it, so I had a listen. At the time, I thought these types of men's magazines might teach me something about manhood or help me figure out who I am. While I did learn about fashion, and there were occasionally some well written articles, ultimately most of it didn't amount to much. Much like the fashions they were helping to peddle, it was mostly fluff wrapped up in a pretty package.

The reason I was drawn to men's magazines is that I spent most of my early adult life trying to find my place in the world and figure out what it means to be me. I'm still not sure how a fashion magazine was supposed to help with that, but at the time it seemed to make sense.

While I still find myself questioning who I am and why I'm here, I'm taking more opportunities to look inward for those answers. It would be so much easier if we could find the answers outside ourselves. I often looked to parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, celebrities, articles, Christian Science practitioners, books, movies, albums, and anything else to give me some kind of clear concise message to just lay it all out plainly. Sure there were hints and allegations, but what I ultimately learned was that the only one responsible for myself was me.

So who am I? While the simple response is to say that I am a teacher, no one can be defined solely by their vocation. The answer is never simple. There are too many variables. I can't give a real or even satisfactory answer to that short question. What I have gotten better at is not letting the way others perceive or define me get in the way of my journey. Sure, I still wonder what other people think about me, but I don't worry about it as much anymore.

So, while I couldn't find the answers to life's great questions inside these magazines, every once in a while, among the fantastically expensive clothes and vapid celebrity profiles, a decent pop culture recommendation would appear in those pages. I'm not sure that I would even know this song existed, had I not read about it in a magazine. A year or two later, a student of mine mentioned The Avett Brothers to me as being a favorite of his. Had I not read about them, I may have asked him who they were, but I'm not sure I would have actually given their music a try.

That's often the great question regarding music: What great music have I missed simply because I live in the wrong place, or listen to the wrong radio stations, or hang out with the wrong friends, or ignore the wrong suggestions? I think I just have to be grateful that I have found this one beautiful song that I otherwise would have ignored. There are many more hidden gems out there, many of which I will never hear. My hope is that I find as many as I can while I can.

Right now "Murder in the City" by Avett Brothers is (probably) my 57th favorite song of all time.

58. Freedom by Rage Against the Machine

"Freedom" by Rage Against the Machine

Written by Rage Against the Machine (Tim Commerford, Zach de la Rocha, Tom Morello, Brad Wilk)
Produced by Garth Richardson and Rage Against the Machine
Released on Rage Against the Machine (November 3, 1992)
Released as single August 23, 1994
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Warning: Explicit Lyrics

It is impossible to write about Rage Against the Machine without getting political. Rage Against the Machine (RATM) are a political band. Their politics are front and center in the lyrics of all their songs. Despite that, not everyone noticed or paid attention to their politics, no matter how loudly Zach de la Rocha screamed.

A few years back, Rep. Paul Ryan listed RATM among bands he enjoyed listening to while working out. I get why people were shocked by this. There are not too many things more diametrically opposed than the policies that Ryan campaigned on and the policies that RATM sang/rapped about. At the same time, when working out, typically I want music that pumps me up, and Rage definitely does that. Sometimes it is possible to listen to them without paying too much attention to their lyrics, but something is always going to seep through. Representative Ryan's affinity for Rage and their music could have been a result of a woeful ignorance of their lyrics, or it could show that he actually doesn't really believe the policies he claims to support. That's always a question I have about politicians: do they actually believe what they say or do they say what we believe just to get elected and gain power?

While it can be hard to read politicians, Rage Against the Machine have been very clear and up front about their beliefs. I once read a feature about their guitarist, Tom Morello, where he claimed to read Chairman Mao's The Little Red Book to his kids like a bedtime story. That's a pretty strong endorsement. You can also hear their beliefs in every song they record, and you hear them loudly. Zach de la Rocha's vocals are always loud and angry and clear. I'm not sure any other rapper or singer displays the level of passion and heart that is felt in every word he spits into a microphone.

So I guess the question remains, how do I feel about their music and politics?

As for the music, I both struggled to figure out which song of theirs to include in my top 100 and also struggled to figure out how many songs of theirs I should include. When I made this list, I felt pretty good about "Freedom" being my favorite Rage song. Now, I'm not as sure. Despite only producing 4 albums (including one of covers), Rage made a ton of great songs. They packed their albums full of bangers.

There's lots to love about "Freedom:" It has a great guitar riff; it's not all loud all the time; it's angry; it has a great coda. But the big thing for me is it features one of the greatest guttural, primal, wails in rock history. I love a good wail, whether it's a "yeah" or a "woo" or anything else. Joe Cocker, Janis Joplin, Jon Fogerty, Wilson Pickett, and John Lennon were all champion wailers. That's a big reason why I love them so much. But here, at about the 4:45 mark, Zach de la Rocha starts this long slowly building wail, and then the real fun begins. As he alternates between "Freedom, yeah!" and "Freedom, yeah right!" I'm not sure I fully understand how he still has working vocal chords. It is full volume, full on screaming, and I love every second of it.

As for the politics, my beliefs have clearly become more liberal as I've gotten older. My dad could probably have counted on one hand the number of times he voted for a Democrat. He would often just mark the box on his ballots to automatically select every Republican. I'm not sure my mom voted quite that uniformly, but the impression I always had was that we were a Republican household. One of my most influential teachers and coaches in high school was incredibly conservative, and at that time, everything he said seemed to make sense.

Once I left home for college, I found myself starting a slow drift towards the left side of the political spectrum. While I still related more to fiscal conservatism in government, I was beginning to become more socially liberal. I could no longer justify the death penalty; I abandoned any final qualms I had with being pro-choice; and I could no longer justify why our military was so big and expensive. All I wanted to do was cut spending and let people live their lives. Give me libertarianism or give me death!

Every year my beliefs shift and change and find focus. I'm much more open to liberal talking points than conservative, but up to a point. I'm still not willing to call myself a Democrat. Mostly I just find myself becoming more and more disillusioned about the whole system. Whichever side I look to, it seems like it's more about money than beliefs. Businesses that are "too big to fail" (which means they're simply too big) gain more and more influence and power, and the rest of us just retweet talking points and think the other guy's got to be better than whoever we don't agree with.

The last few times I've taken a political compass test online, I've been told that I'm a left-libertarian. That's nice to know, but it's also frustrating that my personal political philosophy is not shared by anyone whose name is likely to show up on a ballot that matters. I can't think of the last time the choices weren't simply about picking the lesser of two evils.

While I am not ready to fully embrace the economic philosophies of RATM, there is a lot that they rap about that I agree with. After committing to a system of genocide against the indigenous populations on our continent, does our government continue to malign and ignore those who survived? Yes. Do school curriculums generally ignore marginalized populations? Yes. Are our policies set less by the will of the people and more by the wants and needs of a bloated military-industrial and prison-industrial complexes? Yes.

All of this was true in 1994 and is still true today. As a teacher, I would love to say that we have improved and changed what we teach and how we teach it, but I can't speak for everyone. Sure there are individual schools and individual teachers trying to give voice to those who have been muted or erased, but too many schools and teachers are still teaching the same tired and biased curriculums that we all grew up with. At some point we need to begin owning and learning from our ancestors' mistakes. We are still making too many of those mistakes again and again.

That's probably why I love Zach de la Rocha's screaming so much, because sometimes that's exactly what I want to do. Just scream into a microphone hoping someone will pay attention. Someone might, but it seems more likely that most people will ignore it completely or just turn up the volume and keep cranking out reps at the gym.

Right now "Freedom" by Rage Against the Machine is (probably) my 58th favorite song of all time.

59. Working Man by Rush

"Working Man" by Rush

Written by Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson
Produced by Rush
Released on Rush (March 1, 1974)
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A strong argument could be made that the version of Rush everyone knows and loves wasn't really formed until after they replaced their original drummer with Neil Peart. That's not to undermine the music they made on their first album. It's more an acknowledgement that despite the name not changing, the music they made certainly did.

The fandom and mythos that developed around Rush (with Neil Peart) has always fascinated me. I have always enjoyed their music, but I'm not sure I feel safe calling myself a "Rush Fan." Their fans are pretty passionate. Rush are not the only band with fans like this: The kind of fans that I always feel would want to test my fandom. Like they'd want to know if I was really into Rush or just someone who had "Spirit of the Radio" and "Tom Sawyer" on a playlist somewhere. I'm probably misconstruing Rush fans. I mean, they are Canadian, and Canadians are pretty nice. They'd probably just be happy to know I liked a few of their songs.

Rush (with Neil Peart) is fantastic, but sometimes I just like to rock out. Their music without Peart wasn't all straight ahead rockers, but Rush never rocked harder than they did on "Working Man."

If I was a baseball player, "Working Man" is almost certainly what I would choose for my walk-up music. Here's my imaginary top 5 walk-up song list, in no particular order:

1. "Working Man" by Rush
2. "Kickstart My Heart" by Motley Crew
3. "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour
4. "Seek and Destroy" by Metallica
5. The coda of "Suite Madam Blue" by Styx

For me walk-up music needs to feature great riffs, rocking guitar, and power. "Working Man" also adds a sense of heart to the proceedings. I've always romanticized the idea of the blue collar athlete (and the blue collar worker for that matter) who is all heart and grit and work. "Working Man" is more than just an ode to the blue collar man, it's a blue collar song, all heart and grit and heavy guitars. The liner notes for the album even say, "For best results play at maximum volume." So crank it up and enjoy .

Right now "Working Man" by Rush is (probably) my 59th favorite song of all time.

60. Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival

"Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Written by Jon Fogerty
Produced by Jon Fogerty
Released on Willy and the Poor Boys (November 2, 1969)
Released as a single September 1969
Peaked at #14 on Billboard Hot 100
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While I'm not sure it's the first time I heard this song, I will always associate "Fortunate Son" with the film Forrest Gump. I seem to remember this song being prominently featured in at least one of its trailers. When Forrest Gump came out, I was in high school and was in the process of diving head first into the world of classic rock. Forrest Gump had an awesome soundtrack. While it wasn't just classic rock, it was all classics.

I really loved that movie when I first saw it. Even though it was nostalgic for a time I did not live through, it still felt somehow cool and familiar. All those moments in history that Forrest was thrown into were such a huge part of the cultural zeitgeist at the time. The hippie movement (and the larger Baby Boomer generation that it was a part of) had defined what was important and relevant and cool for much of my youth. That time depicted in the movie felt important, and it seemed like people had rallied around a set of common goals and really changed things for the better. The music of that era played a big part of amplifying those messages.

It's funny what age and perspective will do because now that I have grown older, I feel more and more like that image of the hippies and the civil rights movement was never actually real.

I don't enjoy watching Forrest Gump now. It feels too much like a money grab, playing people's nostalgia. I grew up learning that the hippie counterculture and the civil rights movement as depicted in movies like Forrest Gump and other media were the defining voices of the 1960's. Now that I am living through my own counterculture and protest movements, the reality is becoming more clear. It was only after the fact that the hippies and the civil rights leaders were viewed as heroes. A majority of people at the time were opposed to the preaching and teachings of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. A majority of the people at the time supported the Vietnam War. That's why it dragged on for as long as it did. A majority of people were not listening to the music that came to define the era. A vocal and significant minority of people did speak up and did try to change the direction of the country and the world, but they were not supported by mainstream America or its leaders.

The other reason I don't enjoy the film Forrest Gump is that after I read the book it was based on, it seemed like a silly, fairy tale. The book is much darker (and much funnier) than the movie. While the book's ending is not the sweet and sanguine pastiche of the movie, to me it made way more sense. Rather than Forrest stumbling into a happy life with wealth he didn't earn and a child he didn't know he had (including a rather shabbily tacked on reference to the AIDS pandemic), he instead finds contentment in his friends and a life of poverty away from the spotlight. Throughout both the film and the book, Forrest stumbles backwards into success after success, fame and everything that's wrong with it. So to me it makes more sense that the fairy tale would have to end.

If you haven't read the book, check it out sometime. I have friends that feel the opposite way I do about the film vs. the book. That's their opinion. I don't know how they can hold that opinion, but they are welcome to it. The world would be pretty boring if everyone interpreted art in the same way.

Despite my disillusionment about the glorified image of the 1960's, it did give us some fantastic music. "Fortunate Son" is a protest song born of that time, and much of what it protests against is still relevant today. Jon Fogerty sang about society's hypocrisy: Because he was not a senator's son, or a millionaire's son, or a military son, he was not a fortunate one. In the world he saw, wealth and connections are the only things that can keep you safe from war and the other ills of the world, and it's still true today. Wealth, fame, and family connections are the surest pathways to a comfortable life, to moving up the social ladder. Sure people can move up from the bottom, but how many actually do? The better question might be, how many people actually move down from the top? Can a billionaire ever end up with nothing? Maybe if you inherit your wealth and ostracize yourself from your family and connections, but I'm sure even those people can easily find their way back if they want it.

We live in a fractured society. My home country is experiencing a fall from grace. Its faulty foundations are exposed and crumbling beneath our feet.

And it's not all bad for everyone. I still have a job and a home. I have some money set aside for a rainy day. I'm certainly privileged in that way, but everyday I am confronted by the stark reality that many of my neighbors are faced with. Even though we can see that some progress has been made since 1969 when this song was released, there is still a long way to go, and too many things are not much better than they were then.

As I review this essay, I worry that it is too dark and pessimistic about the world I see, the history I know, and a certain feel good movie starring all-American hero Tom Hanks, but the world I see in the streets, in the news, and on the internet has gotten pretty dark. I can't simply put on my blinders anymore and hide in my insulated suburban life. If the only thing we leave behind is a new set of protest songs while people still die in the streets, don't have enough to eat, and don't see a way up or out, what's the point?

In many ways, I am the fortunate one. Now I need to do my part to ensure those less fortunate are heard, seen, and helped.

Right now "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival is (probably) my 60th favorite song of all time.